Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i love grape jelly

I wonder... I know that my whole "special relationship" with the Twilight books by Stephanie Meyer is a mystery to many (mystery is probably a nice way of putting it). But, really, if you can't relate to being completely sucked in by a great story, loving that feeling, and not wanting to let it go (okay, in my case it's pretty much holding onto it with a death-grip) then you are barely human. Seriously. Go get your pulse checked.
For me Twilight has been a huge source of that wonderful feeling for the last few of years, and I am honestly grateful to Stephanie Meyer for having written something that is so delicious. And I feel like I, alone, have probably bought her a vacation home in Majorca from the many copies of her books that I own, all of the movie tickets I've purchased, the t-shirts, the dolls (yes, I have an Edward doll. What's your point?), the games, even the (awesome) Twilight Graphic Novel (Volume ONE! As in, I will soon be forking over 15.50 for each future Japanimated volume!!) that just came out. So, Steph, I'd say we're even at this point. haha
Anyway, here's what I'm wondering this evening. I wonder if anyone else is as annoyed as I am by the announcement of the release of this "novella" by Steph coming this June. Seriously? Let me take just a moment to address Stephanie directly. Ahem.
Steph (I can call you Steph, right?), really. You said you were done with Twilight and its characters for a bit. I'm trying to respect your (insane. selfish. obnoxious.) feelings about not finishing Midnight Sun right now. I get it. You aren't worried about the millions that finishing that book would rake in. You have Majorca. There's food on the table. I get that. You want a Twilight break. I probably need one. Perhaps this is a healthy thing for both of us. But then you turn around and write a short story about THE MOST POINTLESS character you have ever created (besides Jacob. OOOOhhh Team-Edward-Twilight-nerd burn!!! haha)???!!! I mean, I love Eclipse. Every word. But do I want to read about Bree Tanner? No. Did I ever take my laser-focus off of Edward to feel sorry for her? Not really. I think you are an amazing author. I will read (and purchase) anything you write, including this. You've got me. Really, you do. But this whole thing is so dumb. I'll probably eat these words later and really enjoy your novella (Which, by the way, is a pretentious word. You and I both know that this is just a short story. What's wrong with just saying short story?), but let's get real. Finish a different story. Or a sequel to The Host. Or extend your break from writing. Whatever, it's your life. But I was a huge Harry Potter fan before I found you (I still love ya, Harry), and I still haven't purchased or read any of the spin-off junk little books that J.K. wrote to collect a few extra billion from her intensely loyal fan base. It has always just seemed like picking your fan's pockets to me. It's downright abusive. So, I'm just asking you, is that what this is? Seems an awful lot like The Tales of Beedle the Bard to me. We don't need it. Harry Potter still defeats Voldemort without Beedle's book, okay? And, though you have given the world a lot (namely Edward), do you really want to take advantage of all of the poor saps out there like me? Think about it.


Chadster and Brittster said...

I totally even forgot who that character was....I had to think for awhile. That girl? She had like a 30 second spot in the book. If you were going to do a vampire thing the Denalis sound more interesting. Strange choice.

But you gotta say, you can whine, but you know you will be there at 12:01 buying it reading it all night. ;-)

Andrea :) said...

You totally crack me up! I love this post! You definitely have a point. I, too, will probably be one of those poor saps who buys this book.


P.S. I think we need to start a petition for Steph to finish Midnight Sun!

Spencer and Holly said...

I second everything you just said. Love it.

Melissa Braegger said...

I love your post-too funny. I can't believe she is writing this-who cares? I want to find out what is going to happen with Jacob and Renesmee-don't we all? She knows this and like you said she doesn't care because she has her vacation house and her millions. Lame but like you I will buy it too:)

Michelle @MichelleMovestoCanada said...

I'm your newest follower :) I stumbled across your blog and about died laughing at this post. I totally agree! How dare she say that she needs a Twilight break as her excuse to not finish Midnight Sun and then release this pointless book??

Of course, I'm complaining and whining but I'll be in line for my copy also :)