We are still alive. Just in case you were wondering.
It can be absolutely heartbreaking at times to sit and take stock of your life. I guess the worst thing is that it's easiest to do that at your lowest moments. There are inevitably so many things that you would never ever wish away. Things that you could never have imagined for yourself. Things that make your life meaningful, even in the face of disappointment and adversity. And then there are those unrealized dreams. The people who have let you down, in either mundane or absolutely devasting ways. The things about yourself that you never wanted to take root staring back at you. The only comfort that I can take in the hard and horrible things that life gives us sometimes is the satisfaction we can have when we are doing all that we can. And when we fall short, which is inevitable, the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ, is there to buoy us up when we are victimized and heal our wounds as we repent and forgive. Even when the destination in this life is uncertain, He at least provides us path. That knowledge is like a life raft. Always there. Ready to save you from drowning in sorrow or anger or hurt or sin or despair. Or a tidal wave of all of those things.
I will be strong enough to hold on tight and ride this out.