Friday, April 3, 2009

yo, mama

I must admit that I'm still a big kid in many ways. I actually have a recurring nightmare in which I turn into one of those moms who stops thinking that her kid is cute and hilarious and instead acts like said kid is a big, fat, obnoxious burden. I really do. So, it's no huge surprise that I get a kick out of a lot of the same things as Avery. Things like blowing bubbles and The Imagination Movers. But lately I have been really struggling to understand why all kids seem to like the same things. One thing, actually. One fuzzy, red monster on PBS...

This one is a bit hypocritical since I loved Sesame Street as a kid, but, seriously - What the heck is with little kids and Elmo? I don't get it. He's a furry red monster, he's a dude who talks like a lady in the third-person (ex. "Elmo LOVES jumping. It's Elmo's favorite thing!"), he has used his crayon (which he sings about in his opening number) to color a room, a TV, a window, a door, a table with a drawer. I mean, does this guy's imagination suck or what? Couldn't he at least color himself a room on a spaceship or something? Sorry, I digress. Where was I... Oh, yeah. He has a goldfish named Dorothy with whom he is telepathically connected, he ends every episode with the same song tune (Jingle Bells) with the word of the day substituted (Jump Jump Jump, Jump Jump Jump, Jump Jump Jump Jump Juuump!), he has a creepy, mute neighbor who pantomimes everything (who, by the way, is 30 years old, and when kids ask him, "Can you jump, Mr. Noodle?" he immediately starts running in circles or picking his nose or something. Who doesn't know how to jump? Who is this guy's mother? And is it really nice to giggle at something that someone that stupid does? Where are those PC Human Rights Activists when you need them?), and all of Elmo's drawn-on appliances talk to him and move and dance in some strange way. Oh, and here's the real kicker- each and every episode of Elmo's World, Elmo asks a baby about whatever topic he has landed on that day. A baby. It goes something like this (every single time):

Elmo: "Oh, hello baby."

Baby: Blank stare off-camera. Slight drool coming out of mouth.

Elmo: Giggles. "Baby, can you show Elmo how you jump?"

Baby: Blank stare intensifies. Handler off-camera most-likely jiggling rattle or making peek-a-boo face to keep baby from looking at creepy talking red monster and screaming his/her head off.

Elmo: Giggles. "Aww. Thank you baby! Give Elmo a kiss!"

Baby: Drools on Elmo's furry red mouth (do they wash Elmo in between taping?). Baby will then repress the last 5 seconds in his/her memory until mid-life crisis therapy session reveals severe aversion to shag carpet texture and felt orange noses.

Who came up with this guy? I just don't get it. I love that Avery loves him, though, and continue to check out all of the episodes of Elmo's World that our library has. But if anyone would like to explain this to me, I would really appreciate it.


Melissa Braegger said...

Love this-I have no idea why kids love Elmo so much-maybe his color and his voice? McKenna is obsessed though-everything is Elmo this and Elmo that. She almost stole a little kids Elmo bucket at our community Easter Egg Hunt today! I'm glad McKenna is not the only one to be affected by the drug called Elmo:)

Melissa Braegger said...

I love you-thank you for my card:) Only two more months till the beach!